Its so easy for me to focus inward on my own struggles and concerns... it distracts me from the day to day interaction with people I come in contact with... It may keep me from a blessing, it may keep me from being a blessing... it may keep me from being in prayer, from being thankful, from looking outward and seeing the concerns and needs of those around me. Its just distracting! And wearisome! And it keeps your from truly remembering the faithfulness of God! And His complete and trustworthy control over my life!
I really just need to get my shit together! I need to discipline myself to do the things that I don't really want to do... for instance... waking up in the morning. For whatever reason I do not want wake up. I just want to sleep. And last night I kept falling asleep and waking up, every 30-60 minutes from like 3 AM on... I really probably needed to get up and spend time in prayer, truly in the presence of Jesus... I'm struggling today and maybe I wouldn't be had I done that.. focused my heart and mind... looked heavenward rather than looking at these insignificant and unnecessary worries. There is a whole new life in Christ... a completely different world... full of excitement and joy and pleasure... full of discovery and wonder...
I really miss writing... I love expressing myself through written word... Its my most effective avenue of communication and I can sort of get lost in it. I love putting words together in a beautiful form, using analogies, pictures, forming new thoughts, new ideas... I love looking back on something I wrote (prose or poetry) and thinking "I wrote that?!? I don't remember writing that.." I love being really shocked and impressed with something I've written in the past.
I like dancing. I would like to be so free spirited that I would dance in public like a little flower child with no care in the world. I want to be my own version of a Jesus-following hippie.. a spirit-filled hippie... full of grace and faith...
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