Out of the Shadows

"Its time for you to come out of the shadows." "Coming out party." "You've been in the shadows too long."

I've been hearing these things for the past couple of months... What does this mean?  How will I come out of the shadows?  Lord, what are you about to do?

I want to be a part of the Lord's plan... following, adhering, listening, obeying... giving Him all rights to my heart and life.

I don't claim that I understand what this means exactly... or in what regards I've been in the shadows and need to come out of..

But I've been realizing recently just how guarded, how hidden I am within myself.  And how I've been that way for as long as I can remember.

The Lord s getting ready to do a new thing in me.  I believe it.  I'm anticipating it.  I'm excited for it.  I don't know how or what it will look like.  But I can sense it.

I'm tired of the wearing the same definitions that I've worn since I was a child... the things I believed about myself.. thinking that I'm the same person now that I was then... that because I was afraid then that I still have to be afraid now.  I want break free of those limitations.

For as much as I hate definitions and labels, I sure do keep a lot them tagged to myself.  Its time for a new garment.  To do the things I want to... to say the things I want to... to give freely of myself... without fear.  To love unhindered... to not be bound by things of the past.  To come out of the shadows.  Because the Lord has given me much so that I may give to others.  And I have a lot to offer... I have things to give.  And it will be powerful... it can change hearts and lives... but because its not mine.  Its time time to stop keeping everything shut up within myself... step out in faith.

Now, I'm not sure how to go about doing this.  Just take it a day at a time... listening to the Spirit... having faith... not hesitating.

I've been thinking about how this habit, if not broken and changed, will effect my relationship with my husband and my children.  How will I be an effective, gracious, truth-speaking woman/wife/mother if I keep things to myself?  I want to pour myself out as much as I can.  I want to pour out.  Pour out.  POUR OUT.  With springs of living water from which I draw my supply; it flows in abundance and will never run dry.

How do I give?  O, Lord, let me give!  You have given me so much love... you have shown me so much love... overwhelming amounts... my mind cannot comprehend, but my spirit runs wild.  I can't explain it, but I'm experiencing it.  I don't want to keep this shut up.  I don't want to keep this in the shadows.  Love, let me come out!  Bring me out!  I'm willing... I lose my mind, all my self-preserving inhibition, all the hovering falsehoods... I step out of those and into You.  I hide myself in YOU.  Out of the shadows... into Your light.

I love Your light.