Saturday, November 5, 2011

Comparison

Sometimes while doing ordinary, everyday-life activities, I like to think of how it compares to life with Jesus Christ and my walk of faith.  I do it the most when I run.  The other night I was running on a beautiful night.  I believe the Spirit was giving me a picture of Himself.  It was a little over a week ago, so I hope I can remember everything.

As I was running, I was trying to imagine Jesus really running with me and what that would be like.  That transmitted to thinking about life with Him spiritually, but through pictures and real life images.  There are different phases, or types, if you will, while running with Christ.  [As a disclaimer, I don't think you can apply every "running" scenario to life with Jesus, nor do I think that every scenario I imagine is the finite, only way He works.  He can do much more and beyond.  These are just a few simple pictures of SOME of the ways He works.  Not in any particular order.  There is much, much more of Him to be discovered than this.]


You are running [on whatever path you imagine].  Jesus is running in front of you.  You are simply following.  You feel protected and safe.  You trust wear He goes.  You don't even have to ask questions; you just follow.  It's easier to breathe, easier to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  You know you are safe.  

After a while He drifts back a little.  Now He is running right beside you.  This is so nice.  You can talk to Him better; You can hear His voice and know what He is saying when He decides to speak.  You love to feel  His arm bump against yours as you run; it brings you comfort.  You still are not worried where He is taking you.  Sometimes He'll tell you His plans beforehand, sometimes He just lets you follow His lead.  

He tells you to keep the pace and begins to run behind you.  It feels a little strange to you.  You feel vulnerable and more exposed without Him in front of beside you.  You furrow your brow dart your eyes back and forth.  You keep looking back Him, but He tells you to look forward.  He's still calling the shots, just from behind.  Now you merely following His voice.  Once He begins to speak and tell you where to go, you are put to ease.  But... He doesn't always tell you they way in advance.  Sometimes, when there is a split in the path and He hasn't told you which way to go, you just have to aim for one direction, at times He'll let you keep going the way you chose, others He will call out the way He wants to go in the nick of time.  This is a little more difficult than you thought.  This is really starting to stretch your trust in Him.  But in your love for Him, you endure.  

All of a sudden He starts telling you directions and instructions for the time ahead.  He says, "Remember My words."  You try to sufficiently take in all He's said.  But some of it just doesn't make sense!  You keep on running ahead for what seems like hours and hours, occasionally reminding yourself of all He told you.  You come to another split in the road.  Two options: left or right.  You turn your head to look at Jesus.  He is gone.  You are confused.  He never told you He was leaving.  You slow your pace and come to a stop at the entrance of each new path.  You begin to cry.  Your tears turn into weeping and form pools of sorrow by your feet.  You remember when He said, "You must go right..."   But as you look right, the path seems to drop off,  You don't understand why He would tell you to go that way.  The left path looks pretty and safe and sure.  You struggle for a while, grunt your teeth and run to the right.  "...when you're on this path, run hard and don't stop."  

With tears streaming down your face, thousands of thoughts swim around in your mind: He is good; He is trustworthy; He gives joy and peace; He is fun; He is serious; You long for Him again, but you cling to the words He spoke before He left.  As you approach what appears to be a ledge, you close your eyes and keep running, trusting Him through the absurdity.  When you think you should start falling, you open open your eyes and notice you are running downhill.  In relief, you laugh and wonder why you ever doubted.  You keep on running longing for Jesus and why He left, all the while...

He is soaring above you.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Longing

O, how my heart is longing.  It is longing for so many things: life, laughter, joy, beauty, simplicity, new experiences, enjoyment of life, to live life with friends, so see Sarah in December, to be home, to do more than I am, to truly know God and to live with His mindset, not mine or the world's.

I feel like I'm in anticipation for something, but I don't know what it is.

I want to long for the right things.  I don't want my heart to stray for things that will become a snare or will draw me away from purity and devotion to Christ.  I want to understand what it means to enjoy life and to see beauty in the simple things, but through His lens.  I want to experience life in Him to the fullest... whatever that means.  I want to rid myself of the perceptions I have or think I should have and the perceptions that other people have and cling to and seek out the perception of God.  How hard it seems when my mind and heart often drifts back and forth, being fickle as it is.  Sometimes it's hard to discern between the perception of God and the deception of my heart.

This is how I am today... the things that I am contemplating.  We'll see how long it remains.  It may be something completely new in a few days, something that could be contradicting these very things I am longing for.  Or at least longing in a different way.  I just hope that when the thoughts of my heart change, they change by the leading of Jesus.